Alphabet Soup
by SkinnyJeansAndAnorexia
Summary: One-Shot Drabbles all in the order of the alphabet. No real couple pairing because they're all different. Chapters will be rated T-M. Please, Review.
1. Anorexia

**A/N:**** So, I had this idea for a while and wanted to do it. It's simple really. It's a group of (usually) unrelated one shots but in ABC form. Hence the name: Alphabet Soup. =) **

**There isn't a main character or coupling for the over all story. It will vary every chapter. **

**I will warn everyone if the content is rating T or M. I don't do any other ratings because that's for babies. And hopefully everyone can be mature and don't chew me out for little flickers of nudity or curse words.**

**And if you have any idea's for the letter: B tell me because I'm not sure. Hope ya enjoy and please review 'cause I loveeeeeeeee to know what everyone thinks.**

**Anorexia**

**August 1st , 2010**

She couldn't stand it. The way her thighs rubbed together, how she looked in tank tops and how she ate so much.

'_She wasn't born anorexic, but now-a-days she suffers, staring at these half naked stars on magazine covers. Feeling pressured by the public, she only weighs ninety pounds but still sucks in her stomach_.'

And it didn't help that she had a misbehaving brother that took all of mom and dad's attention. The super skinny models on TV or the fact everyone would be joking when they called her 'fat'. But she wasn't joking when she swore she would never eat again.

So now standing on the scale that reads: 76.2 pounds is more than just numbers. It's a victory to everyone she could do it. That she could go against all odds and become skinny. Not that 90 pounds weren't skinny already.

It's been two years and she can finally say she's proud of her body. Of the effort she has been making for so long. It's been so hard with temptation that was pushing her into the lions din.

But after shedding so much she doesn't care anymore. Not that she'll never be able to think right again because everything revolves around Ana and her antics, and rules. She tries her hardest to ignore the fact that she's been so distant from her friends. That she can no longer run her fingers through her cranberry red hair very often because it's become so thin.

'_On the inside she's dying, lying to herself thinking: 5 more pounds won't jeopardize my health.'_

But the pros out way the cons and if she can just make it through the night she'll be just fine.

The journal she keeps tucked in her closet's hiding spot is her venting machine. She sometimes writes so fast and ferocious that she sometimes can't read the handwriting. Letting out the fact she wants do die or that she's going to die or that she's no good. Enough.

She tells the little worn out blue journal how it would be to be free. To eat all she want and not worry. To smile real smiles with her good friends everyday. But then Ana tells her why she can't do those things, why she'll never be happy.

_You're just not skinny enough, love._

And Ana's voice would be so loud she swore she was real. Swore she was standing right behind her, finger combing her red hair. And if Ana's words don't have an effect. Her mind would be token over and she'll only remember that she'd been on the treadmill for hours. And she'll only taste the faint taste of her blood in her mouth.

But she deserves it because she lets it happen. Let her control her so she can't blame a soul.

Sometimes she'll get so cold that she'd have to stay in the shower until the hot water gives out. But then she'll be forced to take a cold on to boost her metabolism because the bottom line to everything is she's a fat pig.

* * *

**June 23rd, 2012**

She'd said yes. Yes to her friends – who miss her dearly – yes to her parents – who fear she'll soon become socially destroyed if she didn't go out soon – she'd say yes to everyone.

Then she wanted to say no. No she cannot go with them to Florida. No she can't go bikini shopping with Tori and Jade. No, she can't be seen like this.

Cat didn't know what frightened her more. People seeing her lard trying to squeeze through the tight bathing suit, or everyone noticing how much her ribs poke out or her pronounced hip bones. Or she could think of how everyone would be jealous. Seeing a petite girl with a pretty face smiling without a care in the world. She'll do it. She'll allow herself this ounce of happiness.

She wears a floral bikini with no strings and avoids all mirrors for her own good. Seeing herself in such a distorted form would ruin her.

She tries her best not to smile when she makes head turns or when other girls stare.

She dismisses the off smiles from her friends when they look over her feeble body. _They must be jealous with that wide gap between your thighs, they must hate the way they can count every vertebra of your spine and ribs._

She ignore the whistles from the boys with amazing hair and charming smiles. She's too caught up in her own mess to deal with someone else. And if she's had her way to get anyone it wouldn't be the jocks that hold only seduction in their voice. It would be the scrawny nerd boy known as Robbie that fits like a cube in a row of domino's.

Because under all that he is he's worth so much more to her than he thinks. She's just way to frightened to permit her feelings to surface.

'Glad you could come Little Red' and 'Good to see you again' tells her she most definitely has been locked up for way to long.

'_One day she might just collapse she can't avoid it, too many sleepless nights spent bent over the toilet._'

"Cat, are you okay?" She hears a voice. It's very distant but the hand that lands on her back to soothe her is so close.

"_Yeah, I'm fine," _her mouth says before she can even think of the right words. But she's not fine. Her stomach is leaping and she feels like she's going to vomit, her head is so light headed she's clutching the poles of the volleyball net with white knuckles. And her eyes are shut so tight they might be stuck.

"Are you sure? You've been standing here for about five minutes." The voice informs her.

_How embarrassing."That was such an intense game I needed to catch my breath. All better now!" _Her voice a little to cheery for her liking. But she's Cat Valentine, the air head, nothing is too exciting for her.

"Um. Okay." She finally recognizes the voice and see the brown hair and high cheek bones of Tori Vega. "We're bouta go get some ice cream, come on!" Tori's hand wraps around Cat's tiny wrist and ignores the flinch from her.

Even the slight rush of skipping makes Cat dizzy and she hits the ground harder than planned.

* * *

Cat's mind works hard with her brain to help open her eyes. She knows it's only to reassure everyone that she's OK. But there's a much more brighter light at the back of her head.

Her breaths become soft and shallow. She stuck in the middle of trying hard to stay alive, or effortlessly dying. But this is what she wanted, what she needed and what she knew was going to be here. She could have lived to be old and happy. She could have had children and a husband and a big house.

She could have been a great singer and give back to people more than she had too. But it's too late. Her mouth whispers a soft 'bye', and her heart. Stops. Beating.

**The End**


	2. Broken

**A/N:**** This is related to the 1****st chapter so... And it kinda sucks so Im not even going to tell people to read it.**

**Broken**

It was dark and gloomy. And nothing made since. People died everyday so why couldn't she stomach this?

Maybe its because her best friend was full of life and wonder she wouldn't picture such a fate in a million years.

Or maybe it was all the bad things she did throughout her life and karma was finally getting back at her.

It was the darkest most saddest of all Saturdays'. At all she wanted was to run into shelter with Cat and cuddle in front of the TV and watch Saturday morning cartoons.

But those days are over and there's no Cat and Jade. Its just Jade.

Her sleeves rub against healing scars and her stomach churns. She hasn't been eating much since she got the news. She's fallen into deeper depression and all she wants is to lay beside Cat. Dead or Alive.

The preacher man says on last prayer which is followed by a multitude of Amen. Cat was loved and will never be forgotten.

Everyone throws the red roses onto the descending casket. Except Jade. She's been selfish her whole life and can't seem to let go a part of Cat that she has left behind.

_Red roses were her favorite._

She digs her hand deeper into her pocket after finally letting go the simple rose. She turns on her feet when they start piling dirt around. People try to turn and hug her but she slides away quickly running as fast as she can.

She runs past the tombstones and brushes. Past the open gates of the cementary. She runs over bridges and past cars and through green lights. The wind hits her and her eyes fill with tears. And shes not crying because Jade never cries.

She reaches the field of green and yellow and blue. She runs deeper into the forest. Past threatening branches and puddles of drying mud.

Then she reaches the tree. The highest one in those nameless woods and climbs to the thickest branch. She sets herself perfectly before reaching into her pocket pulling out her razor blade.

She spells out Cat on her thighs and the rain pours down hard. Her tears are washed away and her makeup stains her cheeks. She's broken again. And she cant stitch herself back together.


End file.
